Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize