guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Quick, to the slutcave!
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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