My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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