quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
this will be a night to untag.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Randomize
