I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Randomize
