Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
