Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Randomize
