Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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