I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Let's paint friendship bongs
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I fill condoms, not promises.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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