Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
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