dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
