i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Randomize
