Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize