Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
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