Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Randomize
