Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
