either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize