I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Randomize