I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
