Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Randomize
