I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit