think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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