Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
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well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
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I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
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