obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I would ride that face into the sunset
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
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