The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
