I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
