If i could tip my vagina, i would.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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