Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
