Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
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