You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
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