I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
as a side note pls kill me
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
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