fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
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