Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Is it penis luge time yet?
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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