Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
