No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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