I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
