could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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