i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
