Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Randomize
