So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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