eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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