There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize