the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
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