So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
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