I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Randomize
