if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Randomize
