can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
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