sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
