You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I have fence marks all over my body
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Randomize
