there's paper in my vomit.
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
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I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
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he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.