dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
These Attractive Criminals Took Sexy Mugshots That Made Them Famous
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked