i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
17 Women That Lost Condoms Up Their Lady Parts
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
23 People Confess The Most F*cked Up Thing Guests Have Done In Their House
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.