The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
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