The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
