I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Randomize
