based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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