Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Randomize