If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
he high fived his dick after we had sex
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
