Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
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