Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
